


A real smile

by Bonnie_lassie



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:13:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27702599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bonnie_lassie/pseuds/Bonnie_lassie
Summary: It takes a someone with a fake smile to see behind the mask of another.
Relationships: Alec Lightwood/Real Sebastian Verlac
Kudos: 3





	A real smile

**Shadowhunters-Oneshot: Sebastian and Alec: A real smile**

He had not known how much he had needed time outside the institute. Just going on a hunt to distract his mind from everything that was going on at the moment, was making him rest a little. Alec’ head was spinning while he thought about his family, the mortal cup and Jonathan Morgenstern.

The institute was in lockdown and everyone was watching the Fairchild family and his parabatai Jace. His confidence was lost when even Isabelle closed her door for him to recover from her own demons. His lungs were bursting while he felt like dying of reaching no air. He was suffocating as he hit the training ground and bled his emotions in the pain of his body. The glass walls left him in open side to everyone and yet he was spared only one look.

“Do you feel better now?”

“Yes, you were right”, he smiled at the blonde who rubbed a hand over his back. Sebastian always seemed to know what someone else needed, but Clary and Isabelle had spoken about the British and his talent of reading a person but Alec had not believed them until now, “How do you do this? Knowing someone’s needs?”

“It’s not needs, you know. You all given up on what it’s like to feel, but emotions always come back to us and they demand to be heard”, Sebastian spoke with kindness which was written over his face like every day. He felt more than Alec’ duty white the oldest Lightwood was taught emotions cloud judgement.

“How is it in the London institute compared to ours? You act differently from all the things I have been taught and – frankly, it irritates me a lot”, he had to shallow after his words. His throat felt like closing on its own, until Sebastian rubbed his shoulder and infected him with his smile.

“London is not different from New York. All the decisions I make, I make for myself because I have been all the way to the ground. I had to dig myself up again and stand up for myself. These decisions change us and tell us who we are. Not what we wear or how we have been raised. I found that actions show what person you are – and what is important to you”, the English did not let go of Alec’ shoulder but the American saw hesitation flicker in the other’s eyes.

Alec had never noticed Sebastian second guessing before. The other’s hand slipped his shoulder and left it cold, missing a touch like he did not know he needed it. Maybe not needing as Sebastian said, but having someone close who understood.

“Isabelle told you that I have fought an addiction myself. I know you have a lot on your mind, but she will need you. This kind of fight never ends and in moments when we least expect it, it comes back”, Sebastian put his hands in his pockets and his arms were resting tight to his body like he was not comfortable but rather on edge.

“When was the last time you struggled – I mean, she didn’t even let me help the first time”

“Just be there. Just hold her. Just make her tea. Be a brother and don’t judge her. Just show that she is loved”, Sebastian did not look at Alec, but the Izzy’s brother watched the other even closer and noticed the English was swallowing hard just like he had done himself.

“What about you though?”

“Me?”

“Yes, you. You don’t look okay right now”, the thought of touching Sebastian’s shoulder crossed his mind but instead he held on to his bow and watched all happiness had faded from the other’s face.

“I fight every day just like her. Some days it’s better, some days I hide it behind a smile. I think Isabelle even helped me a little myself because I was no longer alone” Sebastian stepped closer to the edge of the roof and laid eyes on their target. He needed longer to focus and get himself ready to jump, while Alec usually did the step without hesitation.

This time though, he stopped and grabbed Sebastian by his shoulder. He did not turn him around, and he did not say a word. He just nodded when the blonde looked up to him.

Sebastian moved first and did a step towards Alec. He was welcomed and Alec found himself holding the other in his arms when the other was tired of smiling.

~*~

Over the next days the two were inseparable training together. Alec led missions on the board, while Sebastian gave his input of knowledge. It was only in the evening when they separated, and Alec turned to Izzy to support her. The older brother started to pick up on the symptoms of withdrawal she was going through, and he recognised them during the day when he saw Sebastian.

It led him to the door and finding the other unable to find sleep. Behind the closed door, Alec took a seat on Sebastian’s bed and touched the shoulder on the other before sinking to sleep side by side like he had been there for his sister.

Each night a little closer until Sebastian was no longer alone and had someone who understood him and knew when his smile was real.

The end.


End file.
